I woke up one morning a few months ago and for once I could remember my dream. That doesn’t happen often, so I was excited. I jumped up from the bed, grabbed a pen and paper and started writing like crazy. My mind was working faster than my fingers could go. I don’t know why I didn’t head to my computer, but it was on another level of my house and I didn’t want to lose what I could remember.
The night before, I was in a group chat on Facebook and women were talking about how much their men loved them and all they ways they prove it everyday. It was refreshing to read their posts because a lot of times men get a bad rep and in particular, black men. I’ve seen people who say that so many black men grew up in homes without fathers that they never saw their mother getting the royal treatment by a man and from that, they never learn how to really love a woman. Do I think that’s true? Absolutely not.
Any man can love when it’s in his heart to do so. If a man cheats does that mean he doesn’t love their woman? No, I don’t believe it does. Recently, there was speculation that Kevin Hart cheated on his wife and when he gave a public apology on social media, that was his way of deflecting responsibility for the fact that he didn’t mess up, he made a conscious choice to do whatever he felt the need to apologize to his wife and children for. That’s between Kevin Hart and his family though he made us all a part of it because he took it to the internet. Whatever he did, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife or that he doesn’t know how to love her. Whatever he did, I can equate to disrespecting and dishonoring his wife, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her.
Black love is something special. I say that because I’m black and I can’t account for love for a race that I have no experience being. I believe in love and I believe that no matter what anyone has gone through in life, if you want real love, don’t stop until you find it or until it finds you. The love between a black man and a black woman goes back to a time in our history when our men had to stand by and watch white men rape and molest our women during slavery. They had to deal though they were broken. When they had a chance to love their women, they loved them deeply because they know what our women had to experience every day. As centuries go by, that deep love is still there because of the past and history of our women. Even today, our women still have to struggle to be taken seriously and seen as equals, so when a man encounters a black woman and sees her out here doing everything in her power to survive, he should want to love her and be that rock she needs at the end of the day. There is nothing like coming home to a man who loves you unconditionally. There are other options out there, but seek out that love that is all about you everyday, all day.
I tried to tell a story of unconditional love in my new book, “Black Love”. In this story a woman loves a man with all that’s in her only to find that on her wedding day, he doesn’t show up. He is, in fact, away on a romantic trip with another woman. The bride-to-be was so hurt that a year later, when a real, good man wants to love her like she should be loved, she can’t let herself let go of her past treatment. She’s afraid she doesn’t know how to give and receive love because her heart is still broken. The hero of the story is a patient and loving man and he knows that all it takes is a little time and patience because a black woman, a good black woman is a delicate specimen and if he’s lucky enough, she’ll want him and will be open to letting him treat her right. Invest in real love and in this book, “Black Love” and experience what its like when a man really loves a woman and he does it, unconditionally!
Love matters, especially black love – it’s real love!