Kim Porter – A Woman Gone Too Soon

 

First let me say that my prayers are with the family, especially the children of Kim Porter. She passed away a few days ago at the age of 47. Her smile lit up every photo and her sweet spirit entered a room before she did. Those are words I’ve seen many, many, many people posting about her even before her death. I’ve always enjoyed seeing photos of Kim with her family, especially those with her four children and the other children who were like surrogate kids to her that were birthed by her lifelong long, Sean “Diddy” Combs. He himself has called her his soulmate and I truly believe that. They may not have made it work as a monogamous couple, but that didn’t mean there wasn’t the kind of love between them that many long to have even a small portion of in their lives.

As I’ve been reading posts and comments about Kim, I’ve noticed, mostly black women, have commented that they find it disrespectful to call Kim a baby mother, mother of Diddy’s children, so on and so on along those lines. They are angry that there isn’t more of a focus on who she was, a model, an actress. I don’t feel that way. Though I agree that Kim was an actress and a beautiful model, I believe what she wanted to be known for most was her love for her four children. That is evident in every picture she took with them, in every statement she made publicly where she always spoke first of her love and dedication to her children. That is what I admired about her most. Yes, with her beauty, she was magic in front of any camera – just look at photos of her. The movie and photo camera loved her. What I believe she took pride in most was how she balanced loving not just her children, Quincy, Christian, D’lilah and Jessie James, but also Justin and Chance, children he had with other women. No one knows how hard or easy accepting other children into the fold is, but she rocked it, even if some of it was for the cameras, which I do not believe. I believe in her heart, she genuinely loved children, even those that were not hers.

I don’t think it’s disrespectful for the way some people want to remember her is that she was the mother of four beautiful children before they throw out credit for the ‘work’ she achieved and accomplished in life. She didn’t put anything, movies, modeling, etc, before her children. She made sure she was their biggest and most visible supporter in anything they wanted to do. She cared for, loved, adored, cherished, doted on, treasured and gave them the spotlight over her taking the spotlight. There can be no doubt that her kids were her first and only priority and that should be praised. I saw a post that asked people wouldn’t you want to be remembered for more than just being someone’s mother or the mother of someone’s children? That’s a large question to ponder, but ponder it, I did and here is my take on my own life and how I want to be remembered:

I love that I’ve done some incredible things in my life so far and I pray that God grants me the chance to continue to build on those things. A week ago, I celebrated 30 years on my job and I have been proud of the work I’ve done over the years, especially my work in doing my part to see that Medicare beneficiaries get the resources they need in order to live good, healthy lives. I am most proud of my Medicare Fee For Service work. I’ve turned myself into an author of, at this moment, 40 romance novels which include, sweet romance, steamy romance and erotic novels (these no one even knows I have these because they are under a pen name), 2 inspiration novels and 5 compilation projects. I’m working on script writing for television and movies. I’ve started my own independent book publishing company. I’ve founded a non-profit which I will finally stand up the way it should be later next year with a kickoff gala in August 2019. I have material things, I travel and plan to do a lot more. I’ve become someone who is now on other people’s radar when it comes to my take on writing and publishing books. I’m spending a lot of time honing that craft and I see the benefits day after day. I hope to one day be what one of my friends calls, “ShondaRhimes2.0”. I love that she calls me that and it makes me proud that friends see my potential. All that and so much more is great, but it’s not what’s important to me. What is you ask?

There is this song that goes, “may the work I’ve done, speak for me.” I have always loved the lyrics and I love that small passage. I look at the work I’ve done as the work in looking after my parents and having a heart to help someone else. I am not perfect and I’m far, far from it. There are days where I am ashamed to admit I still carry hate in my heart for certain things and certain people, but God tells me that He’s glad I’m open to allowing Him to work on me in that area of my life. I’ve come a long, long way, but God is not through with me yet. I haven’t always been the best daughter or the best mother and there were times I don’t even think I was trying to be. I was selfish and only wanted what was best for me. I’m so glad my thoughts and priorities changed and as I said, God has His work cut out, but He’s done great things in my life that have made me take a second, third and fourth look at what is most important.

Getting back to that question of what is it I would like to be remembered for one day. It’s not if I publish a hundred novels, go on to write major network movies or television shows or one day win some of the biggest honors in the entertainment industry. It’s not that I gave many, many years as a public servant or that I had more material things than I needed. How I want my obituary to be crafted has nothing to do with any of that. I want the only words to be that my parents knew how much I loved them because my priority is making sure they’re good. When God said, ‘ honor thy mother and thy father’, He meant that and I stand on that every single day. When people speak of me, I want them to say that I was the daughter of John and Barbara, the mother of Chynae, sister of Brian and John, III. I want them to say that I dedicated a large portion of my life to them. When pictures are shown of me, I want them to be of me with family, smiling and having a good time. I don’t want shots of awards or pictures of book covers or anything that dives into achievements that have nothing to do with my love for my family.

I understand some women who say that Kim Porter was much more than a mother to her children and she should be know for more than being the once love of Sean “Diddy” Comb’s life, but I believe she would love to be known for both of those before anyone worried about what her career was. Not everyone is worried about fame and fortune and making sure people associate your name with that. If that is what makes the world go round for some people, then I say do you, but don’t think for a second that if Kim was asked how she would like to be remembered first and foremost, she wouldn’t smile with that big bright smile she was known for, look at each of her children, including the bonus children, gleam over a Diddy and then tell the world, her desire is to be remembered for the woman who gave life to four beautiful children who will always know that even when she’s not around, she loved them with everything in her and before they remember anything else about her, remember her love for them was her priority.

I celebrate you Kim because your children will live their lives knowing your love, support and devotion to them is why they will one day, after they cry and mourn until their hearts are full, smile and laugh at the good fun times. They will look at pictures and remember every second of their lives because you made sure it was captured. They will forever miss you, but you live on in each one of them. You taught them what it meant to love and to do it unconditionally because that’s how you loved them. I’m happy that when I see stories about you, they say that you were the devoted, loving mother of four before they say anything else. There are so many children who wished they had parents who showed you the kind of love you showed your children. Take our rest knowing you loved so openly that people will flock around your children to make sure they will never be without the kind of hugs and kisses you bestowed on them without caring who was looking.

One day, I want someone to say that outside of everything I may have accomplished, my parents, my daughter and my brothers knew that I loved them and I would do anything in this world in order to keep a smile on their faces. Family first, everything else is secondary.

Cheryl

http://www.cherylbarton.net

http://www.crbarton.com

 

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And Then There Was You

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I recently returned from an incredible trip to Hollywood, California and while there, I explored and ended up in Malibu. I enjoyed the beach, drove up Pacific Coast Highway (a dream of mind), checked out a few great restaurants and loved the beautiful homes that lined the coastline. I was inspired to write a Malibu themed romance series from the impact and the majesty of the beauty I encountered. Love can be discovered anyplace, but I wanted to take time to focus on a city that I came to love in a short period of time. I hope you enjoy book one of my new “Malibu Hearts” series and that you will stick around for the four follow-up novels that are coming!

First up is, “And Then There Was You,” a beautiful, sexy love story, set in Malibu, California and focuses on the growing love between Diezel Wilder, an attorney from New York who recently moved to California after a bitter divorce from a woman he married on a whim and Brooklyn Hunter, a sexy Armenia bombshell, who is a late-night, on-air radio talk show host who woos men all over the country with her sexy, sultry, seductive voice. Brooklyn is coming off of a divorce from a man twenty years older, who she thought was helping her escape a dismal existence only to thrust her into the Hollywood spotlight which revealed adultery and out of wedlock children. Seeking a new lease on life, Diezel and Brooklyn are in search of the kind of connection with a mate that leaves you breathless. Little did they know they would find it right next door. Bring on the ice-cold water because you’re about to go on one very steamy ride to love in, “And Then There Was You.”

Happy Reading!
Cheryl

What Would You Do?

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Well, another book has been added to my list of published novels and I’m still as excited as I was when I released my first book back in April 2013. I still smile bright when I push the button to release yet another romance novel.

Sometimes when I write, I add a little of me and my story here and there, but not with this one. This new release, “I Can’t Let Go”, isn’t a personal story at all. I’m not married, haven’t been stepped out on and had to deal with whether to stay or not to stay. The only one of my books that has a real personal, me-like touch to it is “Bossy”. When people ask me if any of the stories I write are true or are they about people I know, I always say no, but that may or may not be true. There is always a little bit of someone when an author pens a novel. In my novel, “Bossy”,  she is all me – not her life story, but her personality is pretty much me. I even made sure we had the same initials to keep that connection between Cassidy Bostic and Cheryl Barton, me.

In, “I Can’t Let Go”, I tried to dive into the story behind what kind of love makes a woman stay with a man who has hurt her, not physically, but emotionally. I’m not a believer in any woman staying after being physically abused, but I straddle the fence when it comes to an indiscretion. How far did it go? How long did it go on? Did the indiscretion produce any children that were kept a secret? Was the indiscretion with someone the other person knew? A friend? A relative? These and more are considerations to make in any relationship when you have to decide whether it can survive someone stepping out.

Carter Garrison was a man deeply in love with his wife, Sienna, but he made a bad choice. He got caught up in the limelight of hanging out with and being included in as a friend of a professional athlete who was known for cheating on his wife and in his case, the wife was good with it as long as it didn’t interfere with the life they had together. Carter knew Sienna wasn’t that type of wife, but he went with it anyway. To his credit, his  act of stepping out lasted for few minutes before he realized how wrong it was and how he shouldn’t be in that situation with anyone that wasn’t his wife. He could have done what so many others do that we read about in the media everyday – he could have kept the incident to himself. He decided to tell Sienna and suffer the consequences and hope they could stay on tract as husband and wife. Sienna had a different idea. Any indiscretion is a problem and it didn’t matter the size or length of time, it was wrong. She tried to I’ve with it, tried counseling, but the image of the only man she’d ever loved and given herself to had hurt her in the worse way. She couldn’t shake it and had a hard time forgiving it, so her answer? She packed up, left Carter and divorced him. Her only problem was she did it out of spite and in the heat of the situation. The only way for her to deal with it and be okay with her decision was to avoid any contact with him after the divorce. That worked only for a time.

Eighteen months later at a wedding of a friend, Carter and Sienna see each other and sparks fly immediately. With one glance, they each remembered how deep their love had been and questioned if being apart forever was the answer for them. True, he made a mistake, but was it a mistake that could be forgiven? Some would say yes and some would say no. What are those things that you weigh against an indiscretion to determine if it’s something you would forgive or not? How easy is it to forgive and then live your life wondering if it will happen again? A bigger question is, how deep is your love?

A while back, everyone was up in arms when Jay-Z released an album which alluded to him stepping out on Beyonce. Before that, Beyonce release an album that referenced “Becky with the good hair” and the world went crazy about the possibility of him stepping out on her. Then there was the fight between Jay-Z and Solange on the elevator and the word decided that was because she found out he was cheating on her sister. No one knows for sure what went on at any time other than Jay-Z and Beyonce, but that didn’t stop the tongues from wagging with stories of their own about what it all mean. Even if he did step out, why is it anyone else’s concern if she decided to forgive and move on AND have two more children by him? Why do we care? I thought about that as I wrote, “I Can’t Let Go”. What does it matter if a man or woman decides to stay with a cheating spouse if the only people impacted are the two of them? What about forgiveness? Is there such a thing after cheating? I believe there is and so does Carter Garrison. His hope in, “I Can’t Let Go”, is that he can convince Sienna that the love they one shared is still there and though he messed up, she is still the only woman for him.

Take a look inside of “I Can’t Let Go” and decide for yourself if the kind of love Carter and Sienna share is worth saving and worth a second chance.

Get “I Can’t Let Go” on my website as a download or paperback at www.cherylbarton.net. You can also find a copy on my Amazon author website at http://www.amazon.com/author/cherylbarton.

Social Media:

My Facebook page www.facebook.com/cheryl.barton2

My Facebook author page www.facebook.com/authorcherylbarton

My Twitter page www.twitter.com/AuthorCBarton

My Instagram page – www.instagram.com/authorcherylbarton

Kanye and his jackass-ness

kanyes a jackassDon’t be distracted by the jackassness that is Kanye West. He’s mentally unstable and can’t survive without attention being placed on him even if he has to demean and bemoan the history of what our people went through. He’s the kind of buffoon that others would like to put front and center as if he represents all black people. If you can’t respect what our ancestors went through to make it so that someone like Kanye can live as luxurious as he does, he certainly doesn’t deserve anyone attention. There are many educated, powerful, intelligent and non-mentally strapped African Americans that can be quoted and given an audience to, but that’s not who the media choose to focus on. We have to see how the media also wants our people to appear in mainstream media. He’s fodder for those who want to claim we’re all like Kanye. Yeah, not! He’s the worst of the worst when it comes to pathetic jackasses and is on a path to self-destruction, giving us all a front row seat to his descent into madness. This is what mental illness looks like and why our healthcare system needs to change. He may have the money to seek whatever kind of help he needs, though it’s clear he doesn’t, but for those who do need it, this is what they become, not by choice but by circumstance. A choice is what you decide and agree to do, not by being chained, dragged away, raped and whipped until you conform. Our ancestors would love to meet this crass jerk and school his pathetic mind away from his mental deficiency. But then again, perhaps there is no help for him. Let him crash, burn and throw himself over the edge. He’s heading there anyway.

 

Hooray for Black Panther

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“Black Panther,” Marvel’s first film directed by an African-American, brought in an estimated $192 million for its three-day debut in North America this weekend. That’s the fifth biggest opening of all time.

For all of my friends who are writers/directors/producers and aspire to be even greater with a wider reach, be empowered, be inspired and be encouraged to stay the path through the ups, downs, doors closing and hearing no time and time again. Somewhere in the past, someone said no to this young director and he still chose to never, ever give up. I have some incredible opportunities that are being placed before me this year and I know that each one is a step closer to my destiny. I will not be hindered by any negative vibes. Come on and dream-chase with me!

I started writing a few years ago and have pretty much stuck to my introvert personality and haven’t really spread my wings like I’d like to. I would like to expand my writing and really dive into the entertainment industry and this year, I’ve found that it’s time to do exactly that. I’ve been inspired by so many great movies and books and the talent of those behind the scenes. I believe that’s where I’m suppose to be and I’m retooling what I’m chasing. It’s not just the dream of writing and getting better at it, but it’s also the dream of writing for major Hollywood projects. Now, some may say, oh, she is dreaming mighty big for someone living a quiet life in Bel Air, Maryland, but all dreamers start someplace. I’m starting.

I never thought that I was meant to be a writer and though it’s still on a small scale, it’s meant for something greater than what I’m giving myself credit for. I have to aim higher, dream bigger and work harder because if I don’t, then who will really take me serious. It’s time for a change and to move to the next level. Look out world, Cheryl Barton is coming for you!!

Check out my websites at www.cherylbarton.net and www.crbarton.com.

Take a good look at where I’m starting from and one day you will join others and say, “I knew her when…”

 

Black Love is Real!

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I woke up one morning a few months ago and for once I could remember my dream. That doesn’t happen often, so I was excited. I jumped up from the bed, grabbed a pen and paper and started writing like crazy. My mind was working faster than my fingers could go. I don’t know why I didn’t head to my computer, but it was on another level of my house and I didn’t want to lose what I could remember.

The night before, I was in a group chat on Facebook and women were talking about how much their men loved them and all they ways they prove it everyday. It was refreshing to read their posts because a lot of times men get a bad rep and in particular, black men. I’ve seen people who say that so many black men grew up in homes without fathers that they never saw their mother getting the royal treatment by a man and from that, they never learn how to really love a woman. Do I think that’s true? Absolutely not.

Any man can love when it’s in his heart to do so. If a man cheats does that mean he doesn’t love their woman? No, I don’t believe it does. Recently, there was speculation that Kevin Hart cheated on his wife and when he gave a public apology on social media, that was his way of deflecting responsibility for the fact that he didn’t mess up, he made a conscious choice to do whatever he felt the need to apologize to his wife and children for. That’s between Kevin Hart and his family though he made us all a part of it because he took it to the internet. Whatever he did, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love his wife or that he doesn’t know how to love her. Whatever he did, I can equate to disrespecting and dishonoring his wife, but it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love her.

Black love is something special. I say that because I’m black and I can’t account for love for a race that I have no experience being. I believe in love and I believe that no matter what anyone has gone through in life, if you want real love, don’t stop until you find it or until it finds you. The love between a black man and a black woman goes back to a time in our history when our men had to stand by and watch white men rape and molest our women during slavery. They had to deal though they were broken. When they had a chance to love their women, they loved them deeply because they know what our women had to experience every day.  As centuries go by, that deep love is still there because of the past and history of our women. Even today, our women still have to struggle to be taken seriously and seen as equals, so when a man encounters a black woman and sees her out here doing everything in her power to survive, he should want to love her and be that rock she needs at the end of the day. There is nothing like coming home to a man who loves you unconditionally. There are other options out there, but seek out that love that is all about you everyday, all day.

I tried to tell a story of unconditional love in my new book, “Black Love”. In this story a woman loves a man with all that’s in her only to find that on her wedding day, he doesn’t show up. He is, in fact, away on a romantic trip with another woman. The bride-to-be was so hurt that a year later, when a real, good man wants to love her like she should be loved, she can’t let herself let go of her past treatment. She’s afraid she doesn’t know how to give and receive love because her heart is still broken. The hero of the story is a patient and loving man and he knows that all it takes is a little time and patience because a black woman, a good black woman is a delicate specimen and if he’s lucky enough, she’ll want him and will be open to letting him treat her right. Invest in real love and in this book, “Black Love” and experience what its like when a man really loves a woman and he does it, unconditionally!

Love matters, especially black love – it’s real love!

Happy Loving!!

Cheryl  www.amazon.com/author/cherylbarton      www.cherylbarton.net

Pay Attention to Your Wife

Love on Top New Cover 72617b“Pay Attention to Your Wife,” were words spoken that carried a powerful punch for Brandon King in “Love on Top” a new romance novel. This romance novel is an example of much of what we see and read about these days. It starts out wonderfully with Brandon King finding the woman of his dreams and there is no doubt in either of their minds that they were meant to be. One day Brandon’s wife, Dakota, discovers life isn’t exactly what she thought it would be. After being married for eight years, having two children she adored and her husband’s extremely successful career as a business man, she hoped that they wouldn’t lose sight of each other along the way, but that’s exactly what happened. Brandon’s success turned into even more success and that led to him being away from home and distance grew between him and the love of his life. He’s becoming an absentee husband and a father who sees his kids less and less and his business grows bigger and bigger. Dakota, not wanting to become a woman who complains tried to give Brandon the benefit of the doubt because he was taking care of his family. To her, marriage was more than just taking care of the family. It was also about taking time with family.

How many times have we seen marriages end because not enough attention is spent on one spouse or the other. We live in a society that tells us to make more money because that’s the key to happiness. In the interim, while that’s going on, there’s the possibility that love is being sacrificed. Brandon was busy making more money that his attention to his wife began to suffer and he took for granted the fact that she’d be there. It wasn’t until he stood on the outside and overhead men talking about how lonely his wife appeared to be. Though she tried to tell him that on several occasions, it wasn’t until he stood back and took a good look at his life and realized he was fighting hard to make his businesses bigger and better, but he wasn’t giving the same attention to making sure his home life was everything it was supposed to be.

Fight after fight doesn’t appear to get them anywhere, so Brandon has a better idea. He wants his wife to know that she means more to him than anything about business and rather than spend time with a lot of words of promises to do better, he’s going to show her that he values her and their love and he’s ready to put his love for her where it belongs; he’s ready to put their “Love on Top”.

Enjoy Brandon and Dakota’s story of never taking love for granted ever again.