I brought in the new year in church and thankful that I knew that was where I needed to be. That isn’t the case for everyone and I don’t judge. Everyone should be able to live in the space and have the life they’d like to have because life is short and it shouldn’t be lived according to anyone else’s expectations.
Being happy and being content are two very different outlooks on life. My being happy means that I respect everyone’s space and even their expectations of what they think my life should be, but my happiness is based on what I feel I need to do each day when I rise in order for me to have no regrets when I wake the next day.
Being content is allowing someone else’s expectations to control my actions because it’s more important to me that they are happy with me than I am with myself. That’s no way to live if your plan is to live a happy life.
Last night, Dr. Kenneth Robinson at the Dream Life Worship Center in Randallstown, Maryland, preached, “He Brought Me Out On Purpose.” THAT was a message for me and though I enjoyed the entire sermon, those 6 words were exactly what I needed to hear.
I made it through quite a few moments in 2015 that should have taken a person down, at least mentally and emotionally. I’m not a perfect person and I don’t strive for perfection, but I do try my best to do the right thing making sure that I keep myself at the top of my list when it comes to treating someone right. If you don’t treat yourself properly, you can’t treat anyone else better.
Toward the end of the year, there were several things that invaded what I considered to be my place of internal peace. When people can’t cut you deep physically, they come at you a different way. Some things I saw coming and others took me by surprise and yet, I’m still here and I’m thankful. I don’t think I survived because of anything I did specifically, but because I have a purpose that involves me being even stronger than I am right now. My true purpose isn’t quite clear yet, but I know it involves me staying in the game and not being distracted by things thrown in my way to tear down my spirit and my ability to appreciate all that life has to offer. I came through because my purpose is greater than anything I’ve seen happen in my life so far. My purpose is requiring me to not put everyone else’s happiness ahead of my own, no matter how much it hurts to back off. My purpose requires that I stay strong and remember just as I am trying to be happy and not just content, others have the right to do the same which means live and let live. This path to my purpose is redefining me by consolidating all of the things my parents taught me as a child, what I have learned as an adult and the sacrifices I’ve made as a parent that I will forever be grateful for.
In 2013 I wrote my first novel which was pretty good, but turned out to be better once I re-edited it in 2014. I had never written anything other than a few short notes, but nothing as extensive as a romance novel. After that first novel, I wrote 16 more and I realize my purpose is being formed and will include not only my continuing to write, but also my ability to release what binds me by writing about it and hoping it finds another person who needs a few words to take the away from a world that can wear them down. I look forward to whatever my purpose is because the struggles can’t be for naught. I won’t allow myself to believe that what I’ve been through, though not as bad as others who have a bad day, I’ve still encountered things that would have made a less-strong person collapse and give up from sheer exhaustion, but I believe I survived with my sanity because I have a purpose. My eventual purpose is what brings me peace through every storm so I say oh yeah, I’m running toward that purpose so that I can continue to have peace. So peace? Oh yeah! I have that and purpose keeps my peace alive and in control of my life. I’m happy because the peace that I encounter as I live a purpose-driven life isn’t contentment, it is LIFE!